like wat the quote above says, my blogpost today is bout dying. anyway today nth much happened except had LE oral exam. it was super fun and cool! edwin heng over praised me! (: ok nvm. haha. just came home from dinner wif xuan ming and we had a nice long chat bout death.
he was telling me bout yida's father death and the whole story and i felt very sad after listening to it. its like a short period of time only. but yet its also good for his father i guess. i dunno if i am allowed to disclose it here but i wont i think. so we continued to elaborate on that topic and i was telling him of how my grandpa's whole long death story and thaddeus cheong's death story. relating it to someone rather close to me made me feel like bursting in tears. it was really sad ok. like how u remember a love one's death.
then xuan ming shared wif me his encounters wif funnerals and all. i remembered the time when i great grandma died and her body was incinerated in mount vernon. it was like this room wif seats and a huge glass panel in front. when it was time for the coffin to be burnt, we just waited when all of a sudden huge flame just burst out and started to burn the coffin right in front of us. after buring 1/10 of it, the metal gates closed up ad prevented us from seeing the rest of the body being burnt. it was a tormented moment there as many ppl were crying. i hate to be in that scene because it makes me feel useless.
as i told xuan ming bout that story, it reminded me of my grandfather's one. i told him of how my grandfather saw things before his death and the whole story leading to his funeral. but on his funeral day, we went to mandai, a more advanced and high class place. after saying the last rites and putting white roses, we proceeded to the incinerator room. in this room it was cleaner and more beautiful than the one at mt vernon. it was like the same scenario jus that now the coffin was placed on a track and slowly moved into the incinerator. it was heart-wrenching to see it slowly moving to its final doom. when it was 1/2 way thru the track, the metal gates opened and smoke and flames could be seen. when it was 3/4 of the track it suddenly sped up and got engulfed in the flame. the metal gates immediately closed after that. my relatives were all crying and saying hail mary out loud. i really was heart broken but tears could not find their way out of my eyes.
i fear death. catholics dun believe in reincarnation. therefore i am afraid that if i die, i would not go to heaven and might have to go purgatory or hell. imagine staying in hell forever. it would be far torturous. even if i go heaven, how would it be like staying there forever? would i get bored? i seriously dunno and am afraid to experience it. i hate death that comes just suddenly. imagine u getting many good things one day and while crossing the road, u get knocked down by a car and u pass away. wouldnt it be wasted and super saddening? like u didnt handle ur stuff properly and left earth feeling very regretful. therefore live each day as if it is ur last. a very clear example is the thaddeus cheong story which was super touching.
lastly, i would like to pay my condolences to yida and i hope he gets well soon. i admire his father for his determination and all. really respectful. life is fragile. live it to the fullest. (: p.s u might not wan to read this because i really poured out my feelings into it.
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